So, how do you make it an entry?

So, I'm having a tired day today.

No big deal, really, but it's a reminder that despite changes in many parts of my life, my body is still ruled by problems that I can't ignore... and my brain is still part of my body.

I'm tired, and not feeling very ambitious, nor am I feeling that ambition will be particularly rewarded. It'd be very easy to go back to bed, after e-mailing my boss and saying that I'm sick, but I have some work that I need to do today, and a meeting at 2 pm. Plus, once I acknowledge that I'm allowed to go home when I'm sick, if that illness is purely the result of ADHD/Depression/etc., well, it'll be too easy to give up and go home a lot more often, until suddenly I realize I'm about to lose my job due to excessive absences.

Do I speak from experience? No... but I do know that I could easily take about 20% of my working days off sick. So, I need to watch myself, carefully, when it comes to sick time for these things.

In the end, I also know what I need to make things better, at least at at work, and I know that I'm not likely to get it. My job has become less-than-satisfying recently, partly because I have too many things to do, and partly because one of those things ("make sure everyone knows just how much I'm doing") is unsatisfying, and can easily double the amount of time I'm working.

I had an interesting reminder recently, though, of what I can do. See, it was about the middle of March last year when I decided I would learn SQL Server. It was Memorial day weekend of last year - yes, about two months later - when I started taking tests.

I don't remember now whether I was shooting for ten weeks, and got it in twelve, or twelve, and got it in 13-14, or if I was shooting for twelve and got it in twelve. And I'm *good* at SQL Server.

Oh, I'm not a SQL god, by any stretch of the imagination. I still need to double check things here and there, because I'm only doing them for the second or third time, in many cases.

But, yeah... I learn fast, and I do well with the stuff I've learned.

I guess what I'm asking myself right now is whether I should be making my job here better for myself, or whether I should be willing to abandon a bad job situation, and look for a better one.

Maybe that's what I'll make my "real" job be this week.

So, how do you make it an entry?

So, I'm having a tired day today.

No big deal, really, but it's a reminder that despite changes in many parts of my life, my body is still ruled by problems that I can't ignore... and my brain is still part of my body.

I'm tired, and not feeling very ambitious, nor am I feeling that ambition will be particularly rewarded. It'd be very easy to go back to bed, after e-mailing my boss and saying that I'm sick, but I have some work that I need to do today, and a meeting at 2 pm. Plus, once I acknowledge that I'm allowed to go home when I'm sick, if that illness is purely the result of ADHD/Depression/etc., well, it'll be too easy to give up and go home a lot more often, until suddenly I realize I'm about to lose my job due to excessive absences.

Do I speak from experience? No... but I do know that I could easily take about 20% of my working days off sick. So, I need to watch myself, carefully, when it comes to sick time for these things.

In the end, I also know what I need to make things better, at least at at work, and I know that I'm not likely to get it. My job has become less-than-satisfying recently, partly because I have too many things to do, and partly because one of those things ("make sure everyone knows just how much I'm doing") is unsatisfying, and can easily double the amount of time I'm working.

I had an interesting reminder recently, though, of what I can do. See, it was about the middle of March last year when I decided I would learn SQL Server. It was Memorial day weekend of last year - yes, about two months later - when I started taking tests.

I don't remember now whether I was shooting for ten weeks, and got it in twelve, or twelve, and got it in 13-14, or if I was shooting for twelve and got it in twelve. And I'm *good* at SQL Server.

Oh, I'm not a SQL god, by any stretch of the imagination. I still need to double check things here and there, because I'm only doing them for the second or third time, in many cases.

But, yeah... I learn fast, and I do well with the stuff I've learned.

I guess what I'm asking myself right now is whether I should be making my job here better for myself, or whether I should be willing to abandon a bad job situation, and look for a better one.

Maybe that's what I'll make my "real" job be this week.