(no subject)

[johnpalmer]

So, the next four chapters (skipping one) that I was going to have in my unpublished book are here,here,here, and here.

There were two other chapters, one on sexual issues, and one big patriotic wrap-up. I think that was where I was supposed to say that Michael Moore was a saint and that George W. Bush bites the heads off of aborted fetuses, but, I screwed that up, and was just talking about how America's greatest strengths come when we stand together as one people, when we show faith, love, and courage, when we accept that difference of opinion are not evil, and all that other crap.

So I'm not even successful at spreading hatred and animosity, and isn't that what all liberals are supposed to be doing, since we all despise this country, and all?

Sorry. I'm in a bad mood. There's been a lot of those feelings hitting me.

There really is a lot of hatred.

I've stopped counting how many people I counted on, and trusted, as friends, who wouldn't trust me enough to give me a good listening to over political issues. Sometimes even people who I'd have bet my life on, that they'd believe in me.

They wouldn't even believe that *I* believed, that I had good reason to believe. Like I'm some kind of intellectual lightweight, who is easily controlled by other people's opinions.

Oh, the number isn't that high, I grant you that... but sometimes, even the low numbers are too painful to count.

And it's been like, if I can't even convince the people I love that I've got a point, that I've got a well-thought out set of beliefs, that there's more than they've been told to what's going on, if I can't even do that, then what kind of idiot was I to go believing in stupid "let's try to save the world" dreams?

Of course, as I said earlier, I had to do it. The alternative was to do nothing. The alternative was to fall into despair.

That's what I dedicated most of a year of my life to... not despairing and trying to believe. Some days, it's easy; other days, it's hard.

Comments

[griffen.livejournal.com]

I believe in you, man. I've been absent lately because of school, but that doesn't lessen how much I believe in you.

[johnpalmer.livejournal.com]

Thanks; it's good to hear, and I appreciate it.

I believe in ya!

[desiree-2877.livejournal.com]

Hey there, just had to write and tell ya that "I" enjoyed the hell outta your posts and stuff and those other folks are just boogersnots. Don't give up - I'm sure you won't but anyways your words spoke to me, as I can relate in a way. Take care - keep writing.

Re: I believe in ya!

[johnpalmer.livejournal.com]

Thanks; I'm glad, and yes, I will keep writing... it's gotten to be like an addiction again :-).

[barbarakitten-t.livejournal.com]

*HUG*

[johnpalmer.livejournal.com]

Many warm, cuddly hugs back at you, darlin'.

[nsingman.livejournal.com]

We have some profound disagreements, John, but I have always admired your desire to reason and argue without demonizing your opponents. There is a lot of hatred in political discourse (I'll respectfully disagree that it's a new phenomenon), but none from me towards you.

[johnpalmer.livejournal.com]

Thanks Noah... and even when you frustrate the bejabbers out of me, that you care, and that you're real, those both shine through.

One of the big things about the divisiveness is how much of it's fake. It's not about principle, it's about power. I could deal with it a lot better if it was like it is with you... you'll disagree on matters of principle, and stick to those principles, even if and when it'll hurt you.

Funniest thing in the world, one of the senators who supported the Clinton impeachment was just quoted as saying that anything like perjury charges coming out of Fitzgerald's investation would be a set of trumped up charges to avoid making it look like a waste of time.

[kightp.livejournal.com]

I hope you know that year hasn't been wasted, love, whether the words reach beyond your Web audience or not.

Among many, many other things, examining these issues with so much care and detail has made you a better writer, and a better debater.

I can't and won't speculate on how or why the people you're talking about abandoned you over this. But I can raise my hand as one person whose respect and love for you has only been deepened by watching you struggle to state yourself so clearly, and by reading what's emerge from that struggle.

[ms-interpret.livejournal.com]

I hope you know that year hasn't been wasted, love, whether the words reach beyond your Web audience or not.

Yes, that is what I was thinking exactly, but couldn't get words around it.

But I can raise my hand as one person whose respect and love for you has only been deepened by watching you struggle to state yourself so clearly, and by reading what's emerge from that struggle.

And this part too. Though I imagine it's a different kind of love. *grin*

[johnpalmer.livejournal.com]

Chuckle; thanks. And really, I'm full up on lover-style-loving already, but I think love is beautiful in all its forms, and I always cherish it.

[johnpalmer.livejournal.com]

Oh, I know why the abandonments happened. It's the enmity. "Oh my god, he's been sucked in by THEM!"

It's not just differences of opinion; having the wrong opinion will be viewed as evil. I've just read Little Green Footballs, and if I wasn't ready for it, I'd have been horrified. As it is, I was just nauseated. Hey, nausea is normal when there's a lot of poison in the system.

[tigermorph.livejournal.com]

I'm not listening to anyone about political issues right now.

I'm kinda fried.

I can barely watch the news without screaming at the TV.

How can they say the economy is recovering if I am STILL one of three hundred applicants to any given stupid crap job out there? Never in my LIFE did I have to compete against 200-300 people to answer phones. Yet it's been that way for 5-6 years.

I just can't begin to discuss things rationally anymore. I'm not ignoring you. I just can't cope without turning into a jibbering jabbering twitching crazed woman.

[teddywolf.livejournal.com]

Would you like some chocolate?

[tigermorph.livejournal.com]

Oh you KNOW it!

But you'd better just toss it in the cage so you don't get hurt.

[teddywolf.livejournal.com]

Oh, I'm married to a tiger, I'm used to occasional maulings :)
Besides, sometimes it's needful to let someone rage and vent and just hold 'em, maybe stroke their hair and let them know the world isn't all bad - not that I do so without permission, mind.

[tigermorph.livejournal.com]

A wolf and a tiger.... hmmm...

My Honey rather is inclined to be a wolf too, of the lone variety.

Cheers to seemingly odd couplings!

[teddywolf.livejournal.com]

I'll drinkeat chocolate to that!

[teddywolf.livejournal.com]

Uhm, the preceeding was not a proposal - just what I do.

[johnpalmer.livejournal.com]

You don't have to listen to me talk politics... I was just having a bad day, and I was frustrated, and I still am, kind-of. The politics of divisiveness is still to useful, and still being used too much.

[gingicat]

I'm just sorry I haven't had time to read what you've been writing, and still don't. But I trust you, and believe in you, and hope you get published.

*hugs*

[johnpalmer.livejournal.com]

Thank you... but I won't be published, other than to the web, unless/until I rework the book. In its current form, well, no one is going to buy it. I mean, maybe if I did a semi-serious, semi-vanity publishing, but not for the mass market.