Found in this morning's spam...

[johnpalmer]

It's a guilty habit. I sometimes read spam. During the "good old days", when people wanted to convince the recipient to keep reading, well, some of the techniques used were hilarious.

I don't know why I read this one, today. Most spam is full of chaff (random words, or even sentences, added to the message to throw off filters)

Still, it was a gem. It was even different in the plain text and HTML versions, and both were wonderful.



No Ruse . . . Literal Knowledge! The same kind of enquiry
that composed other marvel remedies, has now produced a revolutionary
herbaceous tablet that can addition your penis rate by 2" to 6"
in verily a several short weeks! Simply swallow 1 our pills each
day...
It will do your penis addition a vast 34%!

No Sham --- Literal Ability! The same sort of enquiry
that maid another wonder specifics, has now produced a revolutionary
grass tablet that can increment your penis proportion by 1" to 4"
in actually a couple of brief hebdomads! Only ingest 3 my tablets
each solar day...
It will do your phallus addition a huge 27%!

Comments

[kightp.livejournal.com]

"hebdomads"???

(*checks Merriam-Webster On-Line (http://www.m-w.com/cgi-bin/dictionary?book=Dictionary&va=hebdomad)*)

Cool. I learned a new word from a spammer.

Lets see: Taking three pills a day supposedly results in a 27 percent increase. Taking one a day produces a rate of 34 percent.

So tell me, Mr. Math Genius, how much more "increment" might one logically expect from taking no "revolutionary grass tablets" at all?

[johnpalmer.livejournal.com]

Yeah, I found the new word pretty scary, myself :-)

How much more 'increment' is impossible to tell, from a mathematical perspective. The only model you can make from two distinct points is a line, so it's what we have to use, but until you have more points, you can't tell whether it's a line, or a curve of some form. However, using the data given, after multiple hebdomads, 0 tablets would yield a 37.5% addition to your increment... er, increment to your herbaceous... er, well, 37.5%. Reducing by two tablets increases the increment/addition by 7%, you see; reducing by one more would thus increase by half that amount.

[iamjw.livejournal.com]

Yea, verily.

[siliconivy.livejournal.com]

in sooth, this is wondrous!