![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
johnpalmerImagine (one of) your best friend(s). What do you see?
(Just for giggles try it, but be warned, this *IS* a long one...)
Face? Face and body? Can you look into 'their' eyes and see their eye color? are you side by side or face to face? What distinguishing marks can you make out in this image of them?
Or maybe you're like me.
flashes of memories, feelings, and, just maybe, 'essences'.
a day at a wedding, strength and conviction, an understated smile that means more happiness than one might guess, control, courage, fascination
a look with smile, joy, strength and unplunmbed depths, touching across hundreds of miles so many ways
love of the fascinating, simple caring, hopeful but hurting, satisfaction, love
Understand, those are just word-pictures that can't even begin to describe the images of three people I imagined, and they're time shifting (or how could "hopeful but hurting" and "satisfaction" be paired? Well, they *COULD* be, but I wouldn't pair them, or I might have to explain how they could be paired.
If I force it, I can make a picture come into view, but it's more like a template. "I see her face... what kind of nose do I see? long, short, thick, thin, rounded, pointed, flattish? Well, I've seen her face a hundred times or more... but never thought "what about the nose?" So it's there, but I can't 'see' it.
I was visiting Pat Kight (some people reading this just said "Oh, COOL!" I'm sure :-) ) and this came to me as a kind of epiphany.
What, if I've been unable to visualize things a certain way for 35 years, I needed an epiphany to tell me? Remember that bit about 'what kind of nose do I see?' Yes... and that was part of the epiphany.
(I'm sure that "epiphany" is being used in a way that does great violence to the word; I think it's supposed to cover topics less mundane than "wow, I have a hard time visualizing things!", but the depth of the realization and the sudden tying together of a bunch of knowledge makes the word 'feel' right to me.)
See, in a sense, this is my *LIFE*. I see large patterns, and can't see details. In math, I was always had "great intuition", but a very hard time getting proofs right. I work much better on the fly than when planning things out; in fact, it's *REALLY* hard for me to follow a plan.
When I write fiction, and want to make changes, it feels like I'm weaving, literally. (Okay, no, I've never used a loom, but I feel like I'm putting threads together in such a way that they bind 'naturally', and that the resulting 'tapestry' is a single, flowing unit. I really have that 'feel' in the back of my head of making a new 'single piece', and I can tell when I'm "sewing on a patch" instead of weaving.)
Where I can see things, I don't really "see" so much as "feel". I remembered a story about a woman with Asperger's who designed machinery, and who could 'build' a machine in her mind and see if it worked. If I designed machinery, it'd be more like when I started designing, there'd be a 'shape' in my head - *NOT* the shape of the machine, but just a random one, like the kind that you have to match with shapes made of cardboard or blocks, and when I was sure the machine was right, I'd know I matched the shape.
I wouldn't alway be sure I matched the shape, though... there's a reason I prefer "idea work". The real world is, unfortunately, real. (Or complex.)
It made me feel really good; I was thinking "that's my problem; I have to structure my life around using my 'weird visualization' as best as I can, and minimize the detail work."
My cynical side said "Great, John... use your strengths, work around your weakness. No wonder people call you a genius; no one *EVER* thought of *THAT* before". I'd give (or get someone to give... volunteers? :-) )my cynical side a heck of a whipping, except
1) I'd feel it to, thus,
2) we'd both enjoy it, or hate it, equally, so it wouldn't work, or wouldn't be worth it.
Ah well. I guess I can't be too hard on my cynical side, because it's reminding me to laugh (and be cautious - even more important!) and the ridiculous situation I'm in.
I've GOT it! I've got the information I need to make a lot of changes in my life! I've got... uh...
I've got a 'broad pattern overview' of what's wrong, and need to work out the details. *DAMN*.
(Remember, I'm laughing... that's funny, and *NOT* despairing. But a beautiful example of the perversity of the universe, where the problem's solution *IS* the problem, in a lovely recursive spiral.)
(Just for giggles try it, but be warned, this *IS* a long one...)
Face? Face and body? Can you look into 'their' eyes and see their eye color? are you side by side or face to face? What distinguishing marks can you make out in this image of them?
Or maybe you're like me.
flashes of memories, feelings, and, just maybe, 'essences'.
a day at a wedding, strength and conviction, an understated smile that means more happiness than one might guess, control, courage, fascination
a look with smile, joy, strength and unplunmbed depths, touching across hundreds of miles so many ways
love of the fascinating, simple caring, hopeful but hurting, satisfaction, love
Understand, those are just word-pictures that can't even begin to describe the images of three people I imagined, and they're time shifting (or how could "hopeful but hurting" and "satisfaction" be paired? Well, they *COULD* be, but I wouldn't pair them, or I might have to explain how they could be paired.
If I force it, I can make a picture come into view, but it's more like a template. "I see her face... what kind of nose do I see? long, short, thick, thin, rounded, pointed, flattish? Well, I've seen her face a hundred times or more... but never thought "what about the nose?" So it's there, but I can't 'see' it.
I was visiting Pat Kight (some people reading this just said "Oh, COOL!" I'm sure :-) ) and this came to me as a kind of epiphany.
What, if I've been unable to visualize things a certain way for 35 years, I needed an epiphany to tell me? Remember that bit about 'what kind of nose do I see?' Yes... and that was part of the epiphany.
(I'm sure that "epiphany" is being used in a way that does great violence to the word; I think it's supposed to cover topics less mundane than "wow, I have a hard time visualizing things!", but the depth of the realization and the sudden tying together of a bunch of knowledge makes the word 'feel' right to me.)
See, in a sense, this is my *LIFE*. I see large patterns, and can't see details. In math, I was always had "great intuition", but a very hard time getting proofs right. I work much better on the fly than when planning things out; in fact, it's *REALLY* hard for me to follow a plan.
When I write fiction, and want to make changes, it feels like I'm weaving, literally. (Okay, no, I've never used a loom, but I feel like I'm putting threads together in such a way that they bind 'naturally', and that the resulting 'tapestry' is a single, flowing unit. I really have that 'feel' in the back of my head of making a new 'single piece', and I can tell when I'm "sewing on a patch" instead of weaving.)
Where I can see things, I don't really "see" so much as "feel". I remembered a story about a woman with Asperger's who designed machinery, and who could 'build' a machine in her mind and see if it worked. If I designed machinery, it'd be more like when I started designing, there'd be a 'shape' in my head - *NOT* the shape of the machine, but just a random one, like the kind that you have to match with shapes made of cardboard or blocks, and when I was sure the machine was right, I'd know I matched the shape.
I wouldn't alway be sure I matched the shape, though... there's a reason I prefer "idea work". The real world is, unfortunately, real. (Or complex.)
It made me feel really good; I was thinking "that's my problem; I have to structure my life around using my 'weird visualization' as best as I can, and minimize the detail work."
My cynical side said "Great, John... use your strengths, work around your weakness. No wonder people call you a genius; no one *EVER* thought of *THAT* before". I'd give (or get someone to give... volunteers? :-) )my cynical side a heck of a whipping, except
1) I'd feel it to, thus,
2) we'd both enjoy it, or hate it, equally, so it wouldn't work, or wouldn't be worth it.
Ah well. I guess I can't be too hard on my cynical side, because it's reminding me to laugh (and be cautious - even more important!) and the ridiculous situation I'm in.
I've GOT it! I've got the information I need to make a lot of changes in my life! I've got... uh...
I've got a 'broad pattern overview' of what's wrong, and need to work out the details. *DAMN*.
(Remember, I'm laughing... that's funny, and *NOT* despairing. But a beautiful example of the perversity of the universe, where the problem's solution *IS* the problem, in a lovely recursive spiral.)
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2002-01-09 04:31 pm (UTC)I also seem to carry tactile images much better than visual ones. If I've touched something (or someone) with my hands, I can bring to mind what they feel like -- tactile-feel, not just emotional-feel -- much more readily than what they look like.