Vocabulary

Vocabulary gets strange when you’re dealing with a medical disorder you’re trying to invent. I want the words I choose to be words that will fit, hopefully, even in transliteration, to the extent that it’s possible. And yet, there are words that doctors will use that warp all ordinary meaning. One applies underarm deodorant “axially,” one puts something in one’s cheek, next to the lower gum, “buccally.” Doctors could muck up a Nerf ball fight.

One thing that I think helps one’s thought processes (and the resulting vocabulary) is to recognize models. I have a model, that’s what my “medical disorder I’m trying to invent,” is properly called. The fascia writes traces of subluxation/malalignment as they happen, and then act to undo the damage, or create a stable point. It creates a stable point, by binding range of motion, so, I call the places where things feel stuck a “binding” but the places where it feels “sticky,” I call those “traces.” The fascia writes traces, so that you may undo them – peel them apart, unstick them, unglue them, later.

In my model, the fascia tries to keep the spine straight (the spine must not kink!), and, tries to balance quadrants of your body. So I feel there’s some left/right, and some upper/lower, balancing going on. The reason I think this happens, is, I think it leaves the “homunculus” in the best, most usable, shape.

In my model, our brains don’t send signals directly to muscle; they send them to the fascia, using an interface I call the homunculus, which translates them into muscle movements. I think this is true for two reasons. First, when the fascia undoing a trace, or breaks a binding, there’s a huge amount of sensation. That makes me feel a lot of information is going brainward – “modify the homunculus!” Then, imagine you want to extend, bend, twist, and extend again – forget which specific extremities you’re doing this to, because, that’s a lot of precise muscle movements, by muscles that are not where they are, normally. How could your brain track all the specific muscles you need to perform an action, when there’s other information in play, like, gravity, how you’re twisted, which limbs are extended, how far, and, what’s bent?

For me, it made sense that the fascia was likely a living, analog, computer that made those decisions for you, because it’s what’s right there. Other reasons it makes sense, is, while I’m walking, if the fascia shifts, I stumble – no problem with my brain, just with the fascia. The homunculus altered, mid-step, causing a stumble. There’s more, I have years of lived experience. That said: this isn’t my strongest, most important claim.

I was told that I was “too sensitive” to my fascia, and the problem was called “fibromyalgia.” I think the doctor was full of crap. I think my body is all twisted up, and untwisting, and the sensations of that are so overwhelming that it warps my brain.

I think lots of people have similar problems. They might think they, instead, have a host of physical or psychiatric issues, but the problem is just, we don’t have a word for “my fascia is signaling that something is wrong.” Unless we’re Peter Parker, in which case, our fascia might also host the Spider-sense. “Tingling,” (Spider-man’s usual danger sense signal) is not a bad word for the fascia doing something it (normally) shouldn’t.

The most important part of my model is this: I’ve lived in a body where I first learned that neurological pain could warp my brain in ways I never could have believed. I now have learned, by evoking that very pain, how neurological pain can be a sneaky enemy, that presents as purely psychological or emotional issue at times. Further, if neurological pain is bad, it can mimic certain psychiatric disorders – treat the pain, the disorder will improve, and maybe vanish. Neurological pain can cause a host of other neurological effects, including vasovagal effects (possible fainting) as well as chills, hot flashes, and more.

We need to talk about this. But to talk about my problems, we need some vocabulary. I’ll try to add to this post, if it seems we need more terms.