Two! Two! Ah ah ah ah ah!

[johnpalmer]

Yi. I'm finding myself caught by two things that hamper my ability to post here. The first is being too damn tired. The second is, when I'm not too damn tired, I often don't have much to talk about that's not about being too damn tired. Sigh.

But there are two comic victories I could share.

One deals with mild BDSM-y activities so I'll cut tag it.

A person asked where the spanking bench was. In the bedroom?
No.
In the guest room?
No.
Then where does so-and-so get spanked?
You don't often get a straight line like that. "On the bottom," I responded.


And, I got to use my blow off phrase to someone who both knew the reference, and put together the oddball translation.

For those of you who haven't heard it, there is a phrase common among some folks when leaving: "Let's blow this popsicle stand!"

Which I spent many an idle moment trying to translate into alternate phrasing, until I finally came up with "come on, let's fellate this portable popsicle purveyance!"

I figured "portable purveyance" could translate to "stand where something is sold", see.

I've used it once - and the person had *never* heard "let's blow this popsicle stand".
The second time, I had to explain that "fellate" was a term for "give oral sex to a man," and that "blow" was a slang term, and "purveyance" could be stretched to mean "where something is sold" and a "stand" is usually a semi-somewhat portable... well, you get the picture. I hope.

(I did have to ask myself if the second person was an expert at deadpan feigned ignorance - it turns out that they speak English with *no* accent (...that would lead one to expect that they weren't a native speaker), but nevertheless, it's their second language.)

Anyway. That's two things, which make a post. I know, some people say "three things make a post" but I'm just wild and rebellious in this way.

Comments

[brooksmoses]

Hee! That is a great straight line, indeed.

"Portable popsicle purveyance" is an excellent phrase, but I feel that the whole could be improved even more with the suffixing of "posthaste!"

Actually, that even improves the original. I suspect few phrases of that sort wouldn't benefit from a "posthaste".

[redbird]

n things make a post, for n > 1. The originator of that, wilfulcait, used five, and I occasionally had more, rather than 3-5. Thanks for reminding me of that header, rather than just "misc. update."

[dubhain]

On the bottom: Well, generally one does spank there, yes. Although there have been known to be alternate locations.... (ObDisclaimer: I am not a member of the BDSM community, although I've friends who are, and I'm not exactly a stranger to the scene. *Ahem.*)

Lecherously leaching the juices from inanimate objects from which icy edible treats are purveyed: Oh, well done. Sadly, many people do have something of a deficiency involving both diction and vocabulary, these days. I blame the education system and the parents. *g.*

Sorry to hear that you're still so tired so often. Here's hoping you find more energy, somehow. (I know that sounds trite, and perhaps it is, but it isn't meant that way.)

Also: Frankly? Even if it's only one thing, I'm always glad to hear from you.

Be well, eh? And take care.