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Jul. 20th, 2013 03:09 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
johnpalmerPSA and thoughts to be thunk about...
Some of you know that I say I have depression and ADHD. Okay, but...
I think my real problem is and always has been fatigue. What's the difference?
I'm not entirely sure. But it does harken back to a thought I once had. I was reading up on cognitive therapy, where it encourages people to challenge nasty thoughts that pop up in their head. If you find yourself thinking "damn it, I messed up! I *always* mess up!" that's all-or-nothing thinking, and it's probably not just "untrue" but ridiculously untrue. You probably know it's not true, but if you let yourself keep thinking that, it seems that your brain stops realizing you know it's true. So cognitive therapy teaches you to catch those thoughts, challenge those thoughts, and, for a lot of people, have the depression get better.
It was a fascinating idea - prior to this, a lot of counselors didn't like to do this because they didn't want to question a person's personal experiences. Okay, but *feeling* worthless is valid as a feeling - "I feel worthless" is true, and shouldn't be challenged. Trouble is, "I am worthless" isn't valid, and should be challenged.
Cool idea; chase out the false, negative, thoughts, and let one's mind heal from the damage done by them, and get better.
But that kind of bothered me. See, I wasn't having false thoughts. I wasn't thinking "I'm *always* messing up" or "no one loves me!" or meditating only on the bad parts of my life. No, I was *tired*. I was always tired at that time. And I wasn't thinking, like "oh, hell, I'm tired today, life is *awful*" without recognizing that I just need to get through the day and get a good night's sleep.
No, I was rationally projecting that I was tired that day, I'll be tired the next day, and the day after that, whether I sleep well or not. I wasn't thinking false thoughts to be challenged; I was thinking true thoughts.
I might also have been depressed, of course. And I might also have been suffering from ADHD, of course. But this should have been a hint for me.
I was lucky, in a sense. I undertook a fitness program that allowed me to slowly recognize that exercise would significantly worsen my symptoms, and think about that from a lot of different perspectives, and finally recognize that what I had wasn't depression sapping my energy; what I had was too little energy, so I was always draining my reserves, just to get through the day.
And now I wonder what I could have told a 25-year-old John that would have helped him get this.
I'm not sure. In part because, well, hey, I'm tired.
But it seems there ought to be a way to make up some differential diagnostic criteria to determine a few differences.
Some of you know that I say I have depression and ADHD. Okay, but...
I think my real problem is and always has been fatigue. What's the difference?
I'm not entirely sure. But it does harken back to a thought I once had. I was reading up on cognitive therapy, where it encourages people to challenge nasty thoughts that pop up in their head. If you find yourself thinking "damn it, I messed up! I *always* mess up!" that's all-or-nothing thinking, and it's probably not just "untrue" but ridiculously untrue. You probably know it's not true, but if you let yourself keep thinking that, it seems that your brain stops realizing you know it's true. So cognitive therapy teaches you to catch those thoughts, challenge those thoughts, and, for a lot of people, have the depression get better.
It was a fascinating idea - prior to this, a lot of counselors didn't like to do this because they didn't want to question a person's personal experiences. Okay, but *feeling* worthless is valid as a feeling - "I feel worthless" is true, and shouldn't be challenged. Trouble is, "I am worthless" isn't valid, and should be challenged.
Cool idea; chase out the false, negative, thoughts, and let one's mind heal from the damage done by them, and get better.
But that kind of bothered me. See, I wasn't having false thoughts. I wasn't thinking "I'm *always* messing up" or "no one loves me!" or meditating only on the bad parts of my life. No, I was *tired*. I was always tired at that time. And I wasn't thinking, like "oh, hell, I'm tired today, life is *awful*" without recognizing that I just need to get through the day and get a good night's sleep.
No, I was rationally projecting that I was tired that day, I'll be tired the next day, and the day after that, whether I sleep well or not. I wasn't thinking false thoughts to be challenged; I was thinking true thoughts.
I might also have been depressed, of course. And I might also have been suffering from ADHD, of course. But this should have been a hint for me.
I was lucky, in a sense. I undertook a fitness program that allowed me to slowly recognize that exercise would significantly worsen my symptoms, and think about that from a lot of different perspectives, and finally recognize that what I had wasn't depression sapping my energy; what I had was too little energy, so I was always draining my reserves, just to get through the day.
And now I wonder what I could have told a 25-year-old John that would have helped him get this.
I'm not sure. In part because, well, hey, I'm tired.
But it seems there ought to be a way to make up some differential diagnostic criteria to determine a few differences.
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Date: 2013-07-23 01:14 am (UTC)This website might give you leads to more information. Among other things, it mentions genetic anomalies that relate to men's health, which you might want to look into.
And it happens that I know a fair bit about estrogen replacement, since I've had both endometrial (uterine) and breast cancers. For a very long time, menopausal women who asked the doctor for help with their hot flashes, mood swings, and decreasing sex drive were told that it was "all in their head", and maybe given some tranquilizers. But menopause also has demonstrably physical effects, including osteoporosis. When women were given estrogen to make up for what their bodies no longer produced, it helped reverse, or at least stop, bone deterioration. But it also improved their skin tone, cardiac health, and other physical factors. And it prevented hot flashes and mood swings, and increased their sex drive. Suddenly women were demanding that their doctors give them estrogen to keep them "forever young". After a while, though, it was discovered that estrogen alone could lead to breast and endometrial cancers, and other negative effects. Adding some progesterone to the mix did a lot to mitigate these dangers. (The combination is very similar to that of birth control pills.) However, the progesterone introduced other risk factors, and now a lot of women are dubious about hormone therapy. (I declined the offer, despite having some pretty gruesome symptoms, which turned out to be a very good idea; both of the kinds of cancer I had would have been much worse, possibly even inoperable.)