So, like, I'm tired...
Dec. 17th, 2001 03:42 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
johnpalmerSo, like, I'm tired... and I have two journal entries at home, done in Notepad, and I don't want to repeat whatever is in them. So, I hope that I have an excuse if this journal entry wanders off into worry/depression/whatever.
I am a bit worried. I knew that I'd probably be the only person working here at night, besides the security guards, but it didn't really sink in as to what that would mean.
Okay, I'm a bit of an introvert by nature (or by necessity), but there was always someone at work to talk to. And, let's forget the important thing... there was always someone to cover for me if I wanted to go out for coffee!
So far, it also looks like I'll have plenty of free time to work on programming, assuming I actually get myself to work on programming. That'll be a good thing - assuming I *DO* get programming, and don't let this become another dead dream to regret.
Damn, that was a bit more morose than strictly necessary. Did I mention I'm tired, and that it's four o'clock local time, but 7 o'clock by the time zone I left less than a week ago, and that I'd mostly been daytime for a good long time before then? Or that it's been raining in Kent (I know, I know... RAIN! In WASHINGTON! This is UNHEARD OF!), and I stupidly failed to bring a lightbox with me?
And, I'm feeling a bit bad because of some strange things that turned up... I realized that I'm nowhere near as good at making people happy as I'd like to be. And a lot of it is depression, but I start to wonder how much of it is. Plus, there's the eternal question of any debilitating illness. When do you say "even if this makes something ten times harder for me than for someone 'normal', isn't it still up to me to get it done anyway?"
I dunno. However, I do know that the worst time to think about it is when tired, so I'll try to stop thinking about it for now.
Stay tuned for more journal updates before the day (Monday, 12/17/2001) is out... hopefully, my home internet connection will be working by then, and my two entries done in notepad will be up.
I am a bit worried. I knew that I'd probably be the only person working here at night, besides the security guards, but it didn't really sink in as to what that would mean.
Okay, I'm a bit of an introvert by nature (or by necessity), but there was always someone at work to talk to. And, let's forget the important thing... there was always someone to cover for me if I wanted to go out for coffee!
So far, it also looks like I'll have plenty of free time to work on programming, assuming I actually get myself to work on programming. That'll be a good thing - assuming I *DO* get programming, and don't let this become another dead dream to regret.
Damn, that was a bit more morose than strictly necessary. Did I mention I'm tired, and that it's four o'clock local time, but 7 o'clock by the time zone I left less than a week ago, and that I'd mostly been daytime for a good long time before then? Or that it's been raining in Kent (I know, I know... RAIN! In WASHINGTON! This is UNHEARD OF!), and I stupidly failed to bring a lightbox with me?
And, I'm feeling a bit bad because of some strange things that turned up... I realized that I'm nowhere near as good at making people happy as I'd like to be. And a lot of it is depression, but I start to wonder how much of it is. Plus, there's the eternal question of any debilitating illness. When do you say "even if this makes something ten times harder for me than for someone 'normal', isn't it still up to me to get it done anyway?"
I dunno. However, I do know that the worst time to think about it is when tired, so I'll try to stop thinking about it for now.
Stay tuned for more journal updates before the day (Monday, 12/17/2001) is out... hopefully, my home internet connection will be working by then, and my two entries done in notepad will be up.
