Possible warning...

[johnpalmer]

Okay, I'm stressed about multiple things right now. I'm also having episodes of extreme sleepiness. This means that there's a huge danger of a full blown depressive episode (and me without my psychiatrist... he's not on my insurance plan, you see).

The worst thing is, this is not a time to wait for bad things to go away; this is a time to fight like crazy to fix things.

I have a romantic relationship that needs desperate attention. I have a wife who needs to be pushed to get into medical treatment, immediately. I need a new job. I need to study things. None of those are things that should wait.

There is good news: my MCSE isn't going away at the end of the year. I'll just get a new ID card saying that I'm certified in NT 4.0 instead of 2000.

More later, maybe... talking about my troubles is what partly brings on the attacks of the tireds.

Comments

[mamatiger.livejournal.com]

Hey, sweetheart --

It sounds like maybe you're doing that thing depressed people do,
that 'catastrophizing' thing? Making everything into The End of
the World?

Things aren't good, but you can handle it if you take it one day
at a time.

*hug*

[johnpalmer.livejournal.com]

It's not quite making catastrophes of things. It's more a matter of realizing that everything that's making my life bad needs active work by me to change it, and I'm getting to the "too tired to do anything" state too often.

There are times when just surviving for a little bit longer makes things a bit better. This isn't one of those times, because part of the problems is the "and this has been going on so long that I can't stand it much longer".

And I've been 'just surviving' for too long... the problems can get worse, not better. Like, my recertification for Windows 2000. December 31st is the last day I can take the single four-in-one test that keeps me from having to take four separate exams. Any day that I don't start studying for that is another possible day to study lost, out of too few left.

But, getting cases of "the tireds", well, that *IS* a catastrophe. That's when depression can too-easily become self-sustaining because it takes positive action to get out of the hole then, and it's harder to take that positive action. (all the more reason to fight like crazy to keept from letting it win)