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Dec. 7th, 2006 04:16 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
johnpalmerA while back, I was thinking about how sex was talked about. (Warning: everything that follows could be a(n) (over)generalization.)
Guys talk about "scoring", "getting some", and such, but they don't talk about "Oh, I took that lady to the moon and back!"
Much of my adult life, I've felt that there's a certain class of men who view sex as dirty and nasty; I've felt it most strongly from men who seemed most worshipful of women. I just got the feeling (and I admit it's subjective) that many of them felt like women were wonderful, beautiful creatures "because they allow us guys to do these horrible things to them, but make us happy about it." This, my unfair, cynical, and brutal mind insists, is usually translated as "because they produce babies".
Now, I admit it's subjective and possibly unfair, but it's still a strong feeling I get, that some guys have a bit of self-loathing about sex. Maybe just "it's dirty and a tiny bit shameful", or maybe worse... but I think there's a lot of at-least-low-level bad feeling about sex.
And sex is also seen as something degrading by some people. There's the virgin/whore dichotomy, slut shaming, and the basis of a fair amount of homophobia and heterosexism.
It's probably incredibly stupid that I haven't seen the connection, but... how many people think these are all the same problem? That if we could wave a magic wand and make the self-loathing disappear, a huge chunk of the thought of "sex is degrading" would disappear as well?
Guys, I'd appreciate your perspective especially, because you might have more direct experience of this.
Guys talk about "scoring", "getting some", and such, but they don't talk about "Oh, I took that lady to the moon and back!"
Much of my adult life, I've felt that there's a certain class of men who view sex as dirty and nasty; I've felt it most strongly from men who seemed most worshipful of women. I just got the feeling (and I admit it's subjective) that many of them felt like women were wonderful, beautiful creatures "because they allow us guys to do these horrible things to them, but make us happy about it." This, my unfair, cynical, and brutal mind insists, is usually translated as "because they produce babies".
Now, I admit it's subjective and possibly unfair, but it's still a strong feeling I get, that some guys have a bit of self-loathing about sex. Maybe just "it's dirty and a tiny bit shameful", or maybe worse... but I think there's a lot of at-least-low-level bad feeling about sex.
And sex is also seen as something degrading by some people. There's the virgin/whore dichotomy, slut shaming, and the basis of a fair amount of homophobia and heterosexism.
It's probably incredibly stupid that I haven't seen the connection, but... how many people think these are all the same problem? That if we could wave a magic wand and make the self-loathing disappear, a huge chunk of the thought of "sex is degrading" would disappear as well?
Guys, I'd appreciate your perspective especially, because you might have more direct experience of this.
