(no subject)

So, the next four chapters (skipping one) that I was going to have in my unpublished book are here,here,here, and here.

There were two other chapters, one on sexual issues, and one big patriotic wrap-up. I think that was where I was supposed to say that Michael Moore was a saint and that George W. Bush bites the heads off of aborted fetuses, but, I screwed that up, and was just talking about how America's greatest strengths come when we stand together as one people, when we show faith, love, and courage, when we accept that difference of opinion are not evil, and all that other crap.

So I'm not even successful at spreading hatred and animosity, and isn't that what all liberals are supposed to be doing, since we all despise this country, and all?

Sorry. I'm in a bad mood. There's been a lot of those feelings hitting me.

There really is a lot of hatred.

I've stopped counting how many people I counted on, and trusted, as friends, who wouldn't trust me enough to give me a good listening to over political issues. Sometimes even people who I'd have bet my life on, that they'd believe in me.

They wouldn't even believe that *I* believed, that I had good reason to believe. Like I'm some kind of intellectual lightweight, who is easily controlled by other people's opinions.

Oh, the number isn't that high, I grant you that... but sometimes, even the low numbers are too painful to count.

And it's been like, if I can't even convince the people I love that I've got a point, that I've got a well-thought out set of beliefs, that there's more than they've been told to what's going on, if I can't even do that, then what kind of idiot was I to go believing in stupid "let's try to save the world" dreams?

Of course, as I said earlier, I had to do it. The alternative was to do nothing. The alternative was to fall into despair.

That's what I dedicated most of a year of my life to... not despairing and trying to believe. Some days, it's easy; other days, it's hard.

(no subject)

So, the next four chapters (skipping one) that I was going to have in my unpublished book are here,here,here, and here.

There were two other chapters, one on sexual issues, and one big patriotic wrap-up. I think that was where I was supposed to say that Michael Moore was a saint and that George W. Bush bites the heads off of aborted fetuses, but, I screwed that up, and was just talking about how America's greatest strengths come when we stand together as one people, when we show faith, love, and courage, when we accept that difference of opinion are not evil, and all that other crap.

So I'm not even successful at spreading hatred and animosity, and isn't that what all liberals are supposed to be doing, since we all despise this country, and all?

Sorry. I'm in a bad mood. There's been a lot of those feelings hitting me.

There really is a lot of hatred.

I've stopped counting how many people I counted on, and trusted, as friends, who wouldn't trust me enough to give me a good listening to over political issues. Sometimes even people who I'd have bet my life on, that they'd believe in me.

They wouldn't even believe that *I* believed, that I had good reason to believe. Like I'm some kind of intellectual lightweight, who is easily controlled by other people's opinions.

Oh, the number isn't that high, I grant you that... but sometimes, even the low numbers are too painful to count.

And it's been like, if I can't even convince the people I love that I've got a point, that I've got a well-thought out set of beliefs, that there's more than they've been told to what's going on, if I can't even do that, then what kind of idiot was I to go believing in stupid "let's try to save the world" dreams?

Of course, as I said earlier, I had to do it. The alternative was to do nothing. The alternative was to fall into despair.

That's what I dedicated most of a year of my life to... not despairing and trying to believe. Some days, it's easy; other days, it's hard.