"That guy problem".

Okay...

There's this discussion on alt.callahans about what rape is, what "no means no" means, and so on. Perpetual ongoing discussion number three or four, I think... it's one of the early ones.

And I feel good. I think I've said things in a way that helps people understand things. I think I've spotted openings to explain things that niggled at me in these conversations before, but that I didn't find a way to say before. And I'm playing my game, of trying to find a way to illustrate ideas that I can see that seem important to me.

And I realized, in a sense, there's a metaphor here for the 'guy problem'. I feel good, doing what I'm doing. I think I'm *DOING* good.

At least one person seems pissed off at what I've said, so, clearly, there isn't universal acclaim that John Is Doing Good.

But I feel good doing it, my instincts tell me I'm not doing anything terribly wrong, and I *WANT* this to be okay, because, damn it, it does feel good to be using my brain to sort through emotions and experiences and ideas.

And that's where some of the problems with communication about rape crop up.

You can have guys thinking "it feels so good, it must not be right", and they can be blown away by fears that it *ISN'T*. You can get guys wanting it to be right, because it feels good. And all because it's based around something that's really, really nice.

This is probably how some grand feuds start in newsgroups, too... when someone posts something that they feel really good about, and then it gets attacked, by someone who feels really good about ripping it apart. And defensiveness and bluster and... wow.

Newsgroup postings, and sexual interactions, melding together in a really strange metaphor. Maybe this means I desperately need to get laid.

Well, I did get jogging, and it went well... 2 minutes fast, 3 slow, 3 medium quick, 3 slow, 2 slow, and two 'as fast as wasn't uncomfortable', with a minute of rest between each.

Unfortunately, Skitty is still missing. (Skitty, one of my cats, got out of the apartment and hasn't been seen for two days now.)

Things with Chris are going some better... it's an interesting task, trying to be fair emotionally. I don't want to think "Well, this is probably a temporary change", but at the same time, it might be, and I need to be fair to myself if it is.

Sigh. Isnt' it always easier in black and white?

"That guy problem".

Okay...

There's this discussion on alt.callahans about what rape is, what "no means no" means, and so on. Perpetual ongoing discussion number three or four, I think... it's one of the early ones.

And I feel good. I think I've said things in a way that helps people understand things. I think I've spotted openings to explain things that niggled at me in these conversations before, but that I didn't find a way to say before. And I'm playing my game, of trying to find a way to illustrate ideas that I can see that seem important to me.

And I realized, in a sense, there's a metaphor here for the 'guy problem'. I feel good, doing what I'm doing. I think I'm *DOING* good.

At least one person seems pissed off at what I've said, so, clearly, there isn't universal acclaim that John Is Doing Good.

But I feel good doing it, my instincts tell me I'm not doing anything terribly wrong, and I *WANT* this to be okay, because, damn it, it does feel good to be using my brain to sort through emotions and experiences and ideas.

And that's where some of the problems with communication about rape crop up.

You can have guys thinking "it feels so good, it must not be right", and they can be blown away by fears that it *ISN'T*. You can get guys wanting it to be right, because it feels good. And all because it's based around something that's really, really nice.

This is probably how some grand feuds start in newsgroups, too... when someone posts something that they feel really good about, and then it gets attacked, by someone who feels really good about ripping it apart. And defensiveness and bluster and... wow.

Newsgroup postings, and sexual interactions, melding together in a really strange metaphor. Maybe this means I desperately need to get laid.

Well, I did get jogging, and it went well... 2 minutes fast, 3 slow, 3 medium quick, 3 slow, 2 slow, and two 'as fast as wasn't uncomfortable', with a minute of rest between each.

Unfortunately, Skitty is still missing. (Skitty, one of my cats, got out of the apartment and hasn't been seen for two days now.)

Things with Chris are going some better... it's an interesting task, trying to be fair emotionally. I don't want to think "Well, this is probably a temporary change", but at the same time, it might be, and I need to be fair to myself if it is.

Sigh. Isnt' it always easier in black and white?

Strange sentimental stuff

Yeah, I've been playing too much Diablo II.

Not *TOO* too much, but "too much".

And suddenly, I'm working on a Paladin. And I just have to take up "up there" (meaning into nightmare, knowing he can succeed... there are three play levels, normal, nightmare, and hell, and if you build a character wrong, you probably won't survive in Nightmare, and it's usually pretty obvious that you screwed up. Which sucks, because it can take many hours to get to Nightmare... about 24 hours of playtime.)

Why?

Anna and I were playing a little Diablo II when we had time. She was playing an Amazon, I was playing a Paladin.

And when I thought about that, suddenly it *MEANT* something to build this character right.

I guess grieving really is funny sometimes.

Strange sentimental stuff

Yeah, I've been playing too much Diablo II.

Not *TOO* too much, but "too much".

And suddenly, I'm working on a Paladin. And I just have to take up "up there" (meaning into nightmare, knowing he can succeed... there are three play levels, normal, nightmare, and hell, and if you build a character wrong, you probably won't survive in Nightmare, and it's usually pretty obvious that you screwed up. Which sucks, because it can take many hours to get to Nightmare... about 24 hours of playtime.)

Why?

Anna and I were playing a little Diablo II when we had time. She was playing an Amazon, I was playing a Paladin.

And when I thought about that, suddenly it *MEANT* something to build this character right.

I guess grieving really is funny sometimes.