a night of mixed feelings...

[johnpalmer]

On the one hand, it was Saturday night, I'd gotten paid, and I'm getting paid about $50 a week more than I'd hoped. I went to Whole Foods and had that particular kind of glee that comes from realizing that I can buy... well, almost anything I could want.

Of course, there was also the sober realization that I still have credit card debt, so every luxury I purchase right now is being paid for at a high interest rate (because the price of the luxury could instead have been used to reduce the credit card debt). But still... I've gotten paid, I have money again... not some skimpy unemployment check, but, you know, *money*.

And the job is going well; I don't have any reason to be afraid that I'll suddenly lose my income, barring something unavoidable. I have the freedom to be a bit frivolous.

On the other hand, I'm still smarting, just a bit, from the understanding that this could only have happened by moving back to Washington.

In other news, since moving back, I've had the devil's own time jogging... before I left Oregon, I was able to jog three ten minute miles, with three minutes of rest between them. Today... well, today I could do 7 minutes at 6mph, then could do above 6 minutes the rest of my workout. I ended at thirty minutes, having done four intervals, and one of them was at 5.5 mph.

On the one hand, this is really, really distressing. It feels like an enormous setback. I think *part* of it is that I'm exercising my legs (specific exercises, not jogging, which you'd hope would strengthen one's legs :-) ) and thus running slightly differently, and each time I've done that in the past, it's reduced my endurance a bit.

But then I realized I had some really good news. My left knee isn't aching at all. Oh, I can make it ache, if I squat slightly, so it gets bent *just* right... but the nastier ache of my tendinitis is gone.

So, yeah, something has changed, and there's been some kind of positive change to go along with it.

But about the frustration... well, that's still present. It's time for me to adjust my workout. It's time to stop trying to see if I can jog for six, seven, eight minutes at a time, and drop back to 3, and then revel in the ability to do three and a half, and four, as I start to get back to being able to run further.

I don't like it... not being able to jog a half-mile or more in one interval bugs me. But I'm exhausting myself, and ending my workouts feeling bad, and one good general fitness rule is, if you hate how you feel after working out, you'll hate working out... and soon you'll stop doing it.

Better I should do an enjoyable 20 minute workout than a miserable 60 minute one.

Comments

[hobbitbabe.livejournal.com]

Grocery-store frivolity is to be encouraged, I always think. For one thing, it's probably good food for you physically, for another it's creative, and for a third just think of the food porn you can write for your sweetie.

I still remember being an impoverished, new-to-cooking student in February and opening a letter from my mum with a store coupon for $2 in fresh produce. I walked all the way to the store, picked out a big cauliflower and the ingredients of a cabbage salad (carrots, celery, green beans, red onion, an apple), made a cheese sauce for the cauliflower, and served it to my housemates with some ham we had in the fridge. That made me so happy.

[pagawne.livejournal.com]

John, you can do it once you get back up to speed. Right now, my "dream" is to be able to just walk around the block. Yes, there are greater dreams, but that is one of my small ones. I wish you luck in your endeavors. I know you can do this.