News update...

[johnpalmer]

So, two Fridays back, I realized that everyone hated me and considered my contributions to their lives to be worthless and puerile and why was I really continuing to go through the motions?

So, yeah, I went back on antidepressants. And did not mentally flip the bird to my doctors, screaming "Now *that* is depression!!"... more than a dozen times.

(Not quite fair to my doctors. My GP believes me. My other doctors are less clueful. But they also haven't known me as long.)


Perhaps not purely due to chance coincidence[1], I realized I was starting a cold the next day.

I'm now going through the final steps: using preparations to reduce ear wax so my head can *finally* drain. See, when you're sick, the gunk can turn to ear wax. And if your ears are easily blocked (like mine) that can slow down your recovery by leaving you blocked up. I just wish I'd thought of this before last weekend when inner ear issues were showing up. (Not an infection - just pressure. That's *enough*, trust me!)

On day 12, I'm mostly done coughing and my head no longer feels quite so stuffed.

I've discovered that the CPAP is very disturbing when one is congested. I bought a wedge pillow (two feet long, rising by 1 foot over that length. Which I keep wanting to think is 30 degrees, but that would be if the length of the hypotenuse was 2 feet. It's actually between 26 and 27 degrees, ATAN(.5) *180/pi in degrees). The pillow works better than the CPAP right now. I keep trying the CPAP with and without the wedge, but I'm starting to wonder if the wedge is just better.

I'm sure that's not possible, because a wedge pillow is cheap, and a CPAP runs a couple grand.

I'm sorry - that's cynical, and I know I have some dear friends who are wondrously helped by a CPAP. It's just each night I've used it, it seems to make my sleep more disturbed. And the wedge pillow seems to give me less disturbed sleep, and lets me breathe without effort when I lie down - with the CPAP, breathing is a noticeable effort. And I can't combine them - the wedge breaks the seal of the air mask.

It's even more complicated because I have a very deviated septum and my sleep doc says fixing it won't help - and I don't know if that's True, Because SCIENCE (measurements taken during the sleep lab), or if it's "hah! Like you, a mere patient, could question my prescription!"

I don't know. But I do know if I lie down on normal pillows, I feel congested, and the left side feels blocked up (due to the deviated septum) with or without the CPAP. If I use the wedge, I don't feel blocked up. But that's the point of apnea - people don't remember feeling short of oxygen while sleeping.

And, of course, I've also had a cold for nearly 2 weeks... sometimes my life is a ridiculous confluence of confounding variables.

So: onward to more experimentation.

On the plus side, my boss is fine with me working from home while sick, so that's made life a bit easier.

Other than these items, there's not much I remember of life these past couple weeks. I hope life has been treating all of you better!


[1] See, technically, if things are "coincidence" it just means they happen together - most people use the term "coincidence" to refer to "chance coincidence". Yeah, pedantic, but it got burned into me at some odd time, and now I can't shake it.

Comments

[dubhain]

Sorry to hear about the cold. Glad the wedge pillow is helping.
Yes, CPAPs can be unpleasant, when one is congested. I was actually told not to use mine, when I'm congested, back when I got my first CPAP. But as I quite literally cannot sleep without using it, the advice is moot.

I've the same sort of issues with my ears. I've been told, repeatedly, over the years, that my ears plugging with wax simply cannot possibly affect my sinuses. Because "that's a closed system." Well, nonetheless, whenever my ears get plugged, my sinuses won't drain. So.

I'm just over the upper respiratory infection from hell. Hopefully you'll be back to normal (whatever passes for that, these days,) shortly.

If breathing with the CPAP is a troublesome effort, you might want to ask your doctor about either turning on its auto-set feature, or trying a BiPap. I can't use a BiPap, as I constantly get out of synch with them, but I've friends who they work wonderfully for — friends who cannot use a regular CPAP because of the difficulty issues with breathing out.

Any road, hoping you're feeling better, shortly.

[johnpalmer]

Re: ears and sinuses, yes, a nurse once flushed my ears and several weeks of congestion were gone in a day. I don't know what's "supposed to be", but I know what sometimes works. (Of course, the first time they tried it, it made things worse - the second time was when they got the big blocker out.)

I'm trying a new mask now; I have to change something. Other than a few nights while I was sick (when it didn't matter) I haven't had a full, uninterrupted night's sleep since the 9th (the day I got the durn thing). I'm going to try to go to bed at 9 tonight, just so I can have a longer than normal time to get to sleep and decide if I'm ditching the machine again.

[dubhain]

Hoping the new mask works better for you. I use nasal pillows, myself. Had to train myself to not let my mouth come open, while sleeping, but I wouldn't use a regular mask again, for anything. All the best.

[johnpalmer]

I'm actually using the nasal pillow myself - that's the "new mask" I was referencing. They were asking about my mouth, but I really don't think that's an issue. The dryness was in the wrong location.

Dear lord am I looking forward for today to be over - worst night in a while.

[grey-lady.livejournal.com]

A good wedge pillow has saved me from horrible sinus headaches on a number of occasions. I'm not at all surprised to hear that it helps.

[ftemery.livejournal.com]

I should try that. I learn so much from you.

[elainegrey.livejournal.com]

Curious: Christine could not stand when we inclined the bed, but "loves" her CPAP. (Well, appreciates the significant life improvement it brought.)

Being sick has certainly been conflated with being depressed for me. I'm learning to tell the difference, i think.