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Ever hear the lug wrench joke?
Sep. 12th, 2013 11:23 amSo, the lug wrench joke.
Guy's out driving in the sticks. He notices a farmhouse - first one in 30 miles! And he's glad he realized it because five miles down the road, his tire blows out. Cursing madly, he gets out of his car, opens up his trunk, gets out his spare and his jack and... no lug wrench. Nothing to take the nuts off the tires. (And, with his jack, the lug wrench is also the jack handle - no way to raise the car.)
Well, he does a quick calculation. No houses for 30 miles, then one, several miles back. Forward into the unknown, or a long walk back for the sure thing?
No real question there.
He starts walking.
Of course a mile into the walk, he's getting a bit tired.
Two miles in, he's definitely feeling it, and starting to think about how late it's getting.
Three miles in, and he looks at his watch - holy crap, it's after 11pm! And now he's getting nervous. He saw lights on in the farm house, so he knows people are there... but what if they're pissed off at being woken up by a stranger this late at night?
He keeps walking, dreaming up ever worse scenarios that could happen.
By mile four, he's starting to feel put upon by all the horrible things the people in the farmhouse might do or say (it's easy to feel upset after four miles of unexpected walking late at night!) but by mile five, he's getting angry.
How dare they! What kind of horrible person would refuse a helpless traveler late at night? What kind of nasty, mean-spirited misanthrope would yell at a stranded motorist? Did they think he *enjoyed* walking five blasted miles late at night, just to borrow a stupid lug wrench?
So by the time he gets to the door, he *pounds* on the door, mad enough to chew that lug wrench and spit out nails, and when a irritated voice asks "who is it?" he yells back "You know damn well who it is! And *forget it*! I wouldn't borrow your filthy lug wrench if it was the last one on earth!"
In other news, I called my new doctor, and we're just waiting on insurance to approve the new tests that he thinks I need (which are in accordance with what I think I need!), and they just haven't called me back because their person who handles insurance is out of the office, expected back Monday.
Thankfully, my imagination is not as vividly unpleasant as it could be.
Guy's out driving in the sticks. He notices a farmhouse - first one in 30 miles! And he's glad he realized it because five miles down the road, his tire blows out. Cursing madly, he gets out of his car, opens up his trunk, gets out his spare and his jack and... no lug wrench. Nothing to take the nuts off the tires. (And, with his jack, the lug wrench is also the jack handle - no way to raise the car.)
Well, he does a quick calculation. No houses for 30 miles, then one, several miles back. Forward into the unknown, or a long walk back for the sure thing?
No real question there.
He starts walking.
Of course a mile into the walk, he's getting a bit tired.
Two miles in, he's definitely feeling it, and starting to think about how late it's getting.
Three miles in, and he looks at his watch - holy crap, it's after 11pm! And now he's getting nervous. He saw lights on in the farm house, so he knows people are there... but what if they're pissed off at being woken up by a stranger this late at night?
He keeps walking, dreaming up ever worse scenarios that could happen.
By mile four, he's starting to feel put upon by all the horrible things the people in the farmhouse might do or say (it's easy to feel upset after four miles of unexpected walking late at night!) but by mile five, he's getting angry.
How dare they! What kind of horrible person would refuse a helpless traveler late at night? What kind of nasty, mean-spirited misanthrope would yell at a stranded motorist? Did they think he *enjoyed* walking five blasted miles late at night, just to borrow a stupid lug wrench?
So by the time he gets to the door, he *pounds* on the door, mad enough to chew that lug wrench and spit out nails, and when a irritated voice asks "who is it?" he yells back "You know damn well who it is! And *forget it*! I wouldn't borrow your filthy lug wrench if it was the last one on earth!"
In other news, I called my new doctor, and we're just waiting on insurance to approve the new tests that he thinks I need (which are in accordance with what I think I need!), and they just haven't called me back because their person who handles insurance is out of the office, expected back Monday.
Thankfully, my imagination is not as vividly unpleasant as it could be.
