Still no house...

Bank told us to write the escrow contract. Then told us they wouldn't tell us what would be acceptable.

Then - try to guess whether or not I'm surprised - they decided they didn't like how it was written.

We may have straightened that out - maybe someone informed them that we live in the real world.

But now they want me to pay for housing inspections.

You know what? Fine. I don't care any more. But tomorrow, I'm deciding that this just isn't working. Either I have two dates, one for signing documents, one for closing, or, that's it, I'm done. I'll decide if I can make the other candidate work; if I can, great, I make it work - but I'm strongly tempted to get a loan from anyone-but-my-current-bank.

ETA:
My agent was incorrect. It's not that the bank wants me to pay for housing inspections. They are insisting on all work being done, and then the contractor gets paid a single lump sum. So, I was wrong - they weren't informed that we live in the real world.

Doug's seeing if there's any way to salvage the deal. And my loan officer is feeling unappreciated because I pointed out that if I'd *known* the conditions, I could have worked with them.

Further news...

So, the latest for those following this soap opera.

I asked the bank to tell me what they needed to see in the escrow contract. What would make them happy?

They said they wouldn't tell me what they needed to see, so we wrote up a perfectly reasonable contract... I don't know escrow very well, but I reckon this was about as complicated as buying groceries, paying part of the bill with a gift card, part with a debit card, and part with cash. Basically, they pay the bills that get submitted with my approval as they come in.

And the bank said no, it has to be done as a single payment. As if I hadn't, you know, *asked* about what conditions would make them happy.

But then, let's look at that condition: the entire payment, for all work, has to be a single lump sum. Now, I'm sure you can all figure out how contracting works. You give the contractor some money for initial labor and materials; then you pay the remainder when the job is done. That's perfectly normal.

But the bank doesn't want to front *any* money. No partial payments. The guy is supposed to swallow the risk of all expenses until the job is done. And he can't do it. He'd have to be rolling in cash just to have the funds available to risk. And *then*, we'd have to assume he had nothing better to do with his money than risk them on this job. Sure, the risk isn't all that great, but things *can* go wrong, even when money is in escrow.

The bank's terms don't make a whole lot of sense, unless they're trying to kill the deal.

Well, we might have found a way to work it. We're moving forward. But I'm also putting in an offer on another house, and I'm applying for a loan on that other house (with, as I'm sure you can imagine, another bank).