(no subject)

Annoying Self Critic(ASC): John, you're a grown man. You can even, when occasion calls for it, act maturely.

Me: Yes, that's quite correct. You, being a pest-spirit, are undoubtedly not saying that for reason that's likely to be for my greater benefit.

ASC: And yet, you're listening, for the I-don't-know-how-many-th time to that stupid Saturday Morning Cartoon's Greatest Hits album.

Me: Yes, and yet my enjoyment is imperfect because I'm hearing something else. Why is that? What could possibly be causing that loss of total enjoyment?

ASC: Don't you have any self respect? You're over 40 years old, man!

Me: Your math skills, while imprecise, are nevertheless leading you to correct data

ASC: Think, man! Do you not have any dignity?

Me: Did you hear that?

ASC: Hear what?

Me: The beginning of the Gigantor theme song. You know what that means, right?

ASC: (slightly horrified look)

Me: That's right. And if you pester me so I can't dance to the Ramones doing the Spider-Man theme song, I'm going to cause grievous harm to your pathetic self.

ASC: WHAT DID I JUST SAY ABOUT DIGNITY?

Me: Beats me; weren't you paying attention either?

ASC: (looks fumingly frustrated, and about to storm off)

Me: Worst thing is, you're going off to complain to your friends... they going to sympathize? They're pests and servants of despair.

ASC: (looks crushed, then turns angry) You're getting *entirely* too good at *MY* job!

Me: Means you kinda overplayed your hand, doesn't it? Chill for a bit; if you have anything useful to say, let me know. Now, if you'll excuse me, "Gigantor" is about to end....

(no subject)

Annoying Self Critic(ASC): John, you're a grown man. You can even, when occasion calls for it, act maturely.

Me: Yes, that's quite correct. You, being a pest-spirit, are undoubtedly not saying that for reason that's likely to be for my greater benefit.

ASC: And yet, you're listening, for the I-don't-know-how-many-th time to that stupid Saturday Morning Cartoon's Greatest Hits album.

Me: Yes, and yet my enjoyment is imperfect because I'm hearing something else. Why is that? What could possibly be causing that loss of total enjoyment?

ASC: Don't you have any self respect? You're over 40 years old, man!

Me: Your math skills, while imprecise, are nevertheless leading you to correct data

ASC: Think, man! Do you not have any dignity?

Me: Did you hear that?

ASC: Hear what?

Me: The beginning of the Gigantor theme song. You know what that means, right?

ASC: (slightly horrified look)

Me: That's right. And if you pester me so I can't dance to the Ramones doing the Spider-Man theme song, I'm going to cause grievous harm to your pathetic self.

ASC: WHAT DID I JUST SAY ABOUT DIGNITY?

Me: Beats me; weren't you paying attention either?

ASC: (looks fumingly frustrated, and about to storm off)

Me: Worst thing is, you're going off to complain to your friends... they going to sympathize? They're pests and servants of despair.

ASC: (looks crushed, then turns angry) You're getting *entirely* too good at *MY* job!

Me: Means you kinda overplayed your hand, doesn't it? Chill for a bit; if you have anything useful to say, let me know. Now, if you'll excuse me, "Gigantor" is about to end....