More questions and answers...

These came from saoba:
1) Did you have a hero as a child?

Well, as a child, my heroes were mostly comic book superheroes. I grew up thinking life was a lot like the comic books, with clearly delineated good guys and the bad guys. It's an interesting question, which came first... a lot of comic books were written from that perspective, and I read comic books a lot, so there must have been some influence. But I think I was also drawn to that kind of exciting struggle, the good guys willing to do all that they could to win against the bad guys, thinking that life should be more like that... that heroic folks going in, and doing the right thing at the right time, can make a huge difference.

I still feel that way, but the heroics have changed a great deal... sometimes slaying a few metaphorical demons can be more heroic than the imagined defeat of "real" ones, with teeth and claws and hellfire. It's not as flashy, and not as earthshaking, but sometimes, instead of shaking the earth, you want to shore it up and make it stable, you know?


2) What is the most frustrating thing about online communication for you?

Well, that changes based upon my mood, these days. Sometimes it's the time delay (when there's something that I think would be clarified if folks were sitting across from each other in a coffee shop (or bar, etc.).

And sometimes it's the lack of feedback, where there's no way of knowing if you've gotten it right, or flubbed it, or even if you're getting that tolerant smile of "oh, there he goes again, time to nod and say 'uh-huh' once in a while until he's done."

3) Is there a particular era or school of art that speaks to you deeply?

Alas, I don't know enough about art to say. In high school, well the High School of Engineering and Science didn't have art appreciation classes, and by the time I was through that, I'd developed the techno-geeks belief that art wasn't important. It wasn't until a lot later that I realized that art (by my definition) and attempt to communicate beyond the medium, that it's not what the art *is* but what it's trying to say.

4) What handcraft or skill have you always wanted to learn?

I've always wanted to be able to draw, but I've never really wanted to learn, because I don't really think I can... something seems broken in the way I see things, so I can't abstract stuff to see what lines would capture the image on paper... plus, when I try to put lines on the paper, I can see that they don't do what I want.

As a side note: my handwriting is terrible, and I can't really 'block out' letters so they are all approximately the right size. I don't think I understand proportion right, or something, so I think it really might be something genetic.

Skills... I've always wanted to be able to work on cars, or make things out of wood. The High School of Engineering and Science didn't have wood or auto shop classes either :-). (And, honestly, I wouldn't have taken them if it had... not then.)

5) I know you are a Buffy fan. Which character do you most identify with
and why?

Oh, wow, this stirred up a lot of thoughts. In some ways I identify with Willow, highly introverted and brainy, and excited as all heck to have a chance to do something good and amazing. And in other ways, I identify with Xander, the often confused, frequently frightened guy who knows damn well he's in way over his head, but has to see it through because, hey, his friends need his help. And, you know, horrible evil having to be stopped, to boot.

But thinking of it more deeply, I realize that, if Joss Whedon had met me in high school, and wrote a character based on me, it might well be Jonathan. Brainy but unpopular, never really in the thick of things, yearning for a place in life, and even casting a spell that made him a huge hero (without realizing it would have a high cost). And I'd hate Joss for making him a supervillian in season 6, but I'd shed a sad tear for his well-intentioned death in season 7. And I'd probably get into some flamefest on a Buffy fanboard about how what *really* mattered is that he was *trying* to make amends, and it's not his fault that he died before he had the chance!

More questions and answers...

These came from saoba:
1) Did you have a hero as a child?

Well, as a child, my heroes were mostly comic book superheroes. I grew up thinking life was a lot like the comic books, with clearly delineated good guys and the bad guys. It's an interesting question, which came first... a lot of comic books were written from that perspective, and I read comic books a lot, so there must have been some influence. But I think I was also drawn to that kind of exciting struggle, the good guys willing to do all that they could to win against the bad guys, thinking that life should be more like that... that heroic folks going in, and doing the right thing at the right time, can make a huge difference.

I still feel that way, but the heroics have changed a great deal... sometimes slaying a few metaphorical demons can be more heroic than the imagined defeat of "real" ones, with teeth and claws and hellfire. It's not as flashy, and not as earthshaking, but sometimes, instead of shaking the earth, you want to shore it up and make it stable, you know?


2) What is the most frustrating thing about online communication for you?

Well, that changes based upon my mood, these days. Sometimes it's the time delay (when there's something that I think would be clarified if folks were sitting across from each other in a coffee shop (or bar, etc.).

And sometimes it's the lack of feedback, where there's no way of knowing if you've gotten it right, or flubbed it, or even if you're getting that tolerant smile of "oh, there he goes again, time to nod and say 'uh-huh' once in a while until he's done."

3) Is there a particular era or school of art that speaks to you deeply?

Alas, I don't know enough about art to say. In high school, well the High School of Engineering and Science didn't have art appreciation classes, and by the time I was through that, I'd developed the techno-geeks belief that art wasn't important. It wasn't until a lot later that I realized that art (by my definition) and attempt to communicate beyond the medium, that it's not what the art *is* but what it's trying to say.

4) What handcraft or skill have you always wanted to learn?

I've always wanted to be able to draw, but I've never really wanted to learn, because I don't really think I can... something seems broken in the way I see things, so I can't abstract stuff to see what lines would capture the image on paper... plus, when I try to put lines on the paper, I can see that they don't do what I want.

As a side note: my handwriting is terrible, and I can't really 'block out' letters so they are all approximately the right size. I don't think I understand proportion right, or something, so I think it really might be something genetic.

Skills... I've always wanted to be able to work on cars, or make things out of wood. The High School of Engineering and Science didn't have wood or auto shop classes either :-). (And, honestly, I wouldn't have taken them if it had... not then.)

5) I know you are a Buffy fan. Which character do you most identify with
and why?

Oh, wow, this stirred up a lot of thoughts. In some ways I identify with Willow, highly introverted and brainy, and excited as all heck to have a chance to do something good and amazing. And in other ways, I identify with Xander, the often confused, frequently frightened guy who knows damn well he's in way over his head, but has to see it through because, hey, his friends need his help. And, you know, horrible evil having to be stopped, to boot.

But thinking of it more deeply, I realize that, if Joss Whedon had met me in high school, and wrote a character based on me, it might well be Jonathan. Brainy but unpopular, never really in the thick of things, yearning for a place in life, and even casting a spell that made him a huge hero (without realizing it would have a high cost). And I'd hate Joss for making him a supervillian in season 6, but I'd shed a sad tear for his well-intentioned death in season 7. And I'd probably get into some flamefest on a Buffy fanboard about how what *really* mattered is that he was *trying* to make amends, and it's not his fault that he died before he had the chance!

And still more questions...

These are from laurarey
1. Where did you grow up and did something unique to that geographical
region impact who you are today?

I grew up in Philadelphia. I'm not sure if anything really made me who I am... but I grew up in a working class neighborhood, and I was, well, weird. I don't know if it would have been different if I'd grown up where weirdos were more prevalent or not, but I couldn't help but be the odd man out at school and socially... I was bullied and teased quite a bit, and I think part of it was just that there was no common basis for understanding, really. That had a huge impact on me.

It's interesting to me that I wasn't a bit surprised to find that schizophrenia is a lot more common in cities than in more rural areas... these days I hate feeling crowded, though I'd have thought I'd be more used to it growing up in one of the largest cities in America.

2. Do you have a regular spiritual practice? And if so, how does it
affect your daily life?

Well... it varies between regular and extremely irregular :-). I follow an unstructured form of Wicca most of the time. The key takeaway point for my day to day life is that I try to consider myself responsible for my corner of the universe, which means trying to be aware, and thinking about, what's going on in it.

I chose Wicca because I felt that I needed *a* structure, and that the type of structure didn't matter quite so much as having it. It would reveal what it had to teach me, so long as I tried to follow it... or it wouldn't reveal anything, and I'd find something else to work with.

I also believe I'm a shaman, which means I'm one of those poor schmoes who's got one foot a bit too far in the spirit world, and thus sees and feels things that other folks don't. (The alternative hypothesis is that I'm just plain weird, and I'm more than willing to admit that the jury is definitely out on that.) Thinking from that perspective is often useful... almost anything can have meaning, even deep and powerful meaning.

I also read about and admire Buddhism; I think it has the basics right.

When I'm happy and healthy, I try to meditate and investigate and understand more about the world around me, and the world inside me, and how they interact. When I'm stressed, unhappy, or sick, things tend to fall by the wayside. They've been falling by the wayside for a while, now.


3. Here's $50,000. What will you do with it?

Well, my first thought is "I could go back to school... now. Without having to worry about making a living." I'm hoping to earn my PhD in psychology, but I'm trying to figure out how to manage it. Right now, I'm studying psych while job hunting.

My second thoughts are "who could I help with that kind of money?" and it's kind of warring with the first :-). If the second thoughts won, I'd keep $5000 to be debt free and have some spending money, and use the other $45k to help folks however I could.

4. If you were an animal at the zoo, which one would you be?
Chuckle. Probalby one of those animals that's so good at hiding that people wonder if the exhibit is actually closed... or, if they can make me out, they're not sure what, exactly, me-animals *do*. At least, up until I discovered how to scam popcorn from them.




5. And, I'm going to cheat and re-use a question I used with nathelmi.
What question should I ask that would reveal the "true" johnpalmer?

Well, that'd probably be a trick question. See, it would probably require, as a setup, that we were up too-damn late (or, technically, really early), drinking beer, or maybe wine, and you'd ask me "So, do you know that (soandso - someone I care about and admire) really likes and admires you?"

You'd see me be hopeful that it's true, mildly afraid that it's not, and wanting it to be meaningful... wanting to think I'd made some kind of positive difference in that person's life. You'd see me be afraid to ask for details, but yearning to know them, because, hey, we've been up late, drinking, and I'm thus a lot more vulnerable than I'd let myself be otherwise. You'd learn how eager I am to be liked, and how much I want to reach out to people, but don't feel really able to, much of the time. And you might even see me get nervous about whether I can actually get any closer to (whomever you mentioned).

The actual answer would be superfluous at that point :-).

And still more questions...

These are from laurarey
1. Where did you grow up and did something unique to that geographical
region impact who you are today?

I grew up in Philadelphia. I'm not sure if anything really made me who I am... but I grew up in a working class neighborhood, and I was, well, weird. I don't know if it would have been different if I'd grown up where weirdos were more prevalent or not, but I couldn't help but be the odd man out at school and socially... I was bullied and teased quite a bit, and I think part of it was just that there was no common basis for understanding, really. That had a huge impact on me.

It's interesting to me that I wasn't a bit surprised to find that schizophrenia is a lot more common in cities than in more rural areas... these days I hate feeling crowded, though I'd have thought I'd be more used to it growing up in one of the largest cities in America.

2. Do you have a regular spiritual practice? And if so, how does it
affect your daily life?

Well... it varies between regular and extremely irregular :-). I follow an unstructured form of Wicca most of the time. The key takeaway point for my day to day life is that I try to consider myself responsible for my corner of the universe, which means trying to be aware, and thinking about, what's going on in it.

I chose Wicca because I felt that I needed *a* structure, and that the type of structure didn't matter quite so much as having it. It would reveal what it had to teach me, so long as I tried to follow it... or it wouldn't reveal anything, and I'd find something else to work with.

I also believe I'm a shaman, which means I'm one of those poor schmoes who's got one foot a bit too far in the spirit world, and thus sees and feels things that other folks don't. (The alternative hypothesis is that I'm just plain weird, and I'm more than willing to admit that the jury is definitely out on that.) Thinking from that perspective is often useful... almost anything can have meaning, even deep and powerful meaning.

I also read about and admire Buddhism; I think it has the basics right.

When I'm happy and healthy, I try to meditate and investigate and understand more about the world around me, and the world inside me, and how they interact. When I'm stressed, unhappy, or sick, things tend to fall by the wayside. They've been falling by the wayside for a while, now.


3. Here's $50,000. What will you do with it?

Well, my first thought is "I could go back to school... now. Without having to worry about making a living." I'm hoping to earn my PhD in psychology, but I'm trying to figure out how to manage it. Right now, I'm studying psych while job hunting.

My second thoughts are "who could I help with that kind of money?" and it's kind of warring with the first :-). If the second thoughts won, I'd keep $5000 to be debt free and have some spending money, and use the other $45k to help folks however I could.

4. If you were an animal at the zoo, which one would you be?
Chuckle. Probalby one of those animals that's so good at hiding that people wonder if the exhibit is actually closed... or, if they can make me out, they're not sure what, exactly, me-animals *do*. At least, up until I discovered how to scam popcorn from them.




5. And, I'm going to cheat and re-use a question I used with nathelmi.
What question should I ask that would reveal the "true" johnpalmer?

Well, that'd probably be a trick question. See, it would probably require, as a setup, that we were up too-damn late (or, technically, really early), drinking beer, or maybe wine, and you'd ask me "So, do you know that (soandso - someone I care about and admire) really likes and admires you?"

You'd see me be hopeful that it's true, mildly afraid that it's not, and wanting it to be meaningful... wanting to think I'd made some kind of positive difference in that person's life. You'd see me be afraid to ask for details, but yearning to know them, because, hey, we've been up late, drinking, and I'm thus a lot more vulnerable than I'd let myself be otherwise. You'd learn how eager I am to be liked, and how much I want to reach out to people, but don't feel really able to, much of the time. And you might even see me get nervous about whether I can actually get any closer to (whomever you mentioned).

The actual answer would be superfluous at that point :-).