What makes you happy?

One of the things that I realized could be a really tough question when battling depression is "what makes you happy?"

I mean, it's not a very tough question is it? But what if you've been in the pit for so long that you don't remember what makes you happy?

Worse... what if some of the things that bring you relief don't actually make you happy, but just leave you feeling safe or comfortable? What if you think that sleep, or vegging out playing computer games makes you happy, but really, it's just what you do, and you've lost that memory of what it's like to be truly happy, because it hasn't happened in a long time? Or what if you can't quite imagine what it's like to be truly happy? It just seems like... "happy? What is this thing you call 'happy'?"

With my fits of depression, I've been running into problems like that, asking myself that question. I was relieved to realize there was one answer that I could always point to.

I have always, and I mean *always*, felt good when I realized I was in the groove, and figuring out some aspect of how a person thinks, feels, or acts.

An example follows, with an LJ cut for Firefly spoilers - yes, it's been out on DVD for a while, and it's a mild spoiler, but hey, maybe you don't know and don't like even minor ones.

( Read more... )

Anyway. That was kind of a tangent, but it's my journal, so I'm allowed to do tangents. The point is, I realized that the puzzle of humanity, of happiness, of figuring out how people work the way they do, that's always been something that makes me happy.

Other puzzles are fun, sometimes, but really, it's working in that realm of human thought and emotion that makes me happy.

Which means the one path I've set out for myself is the right one for me to be walking.

And along the way, I hope I can figure out how to help other folks answer the same question.

What makes you happy?

One of the things that I realized could be a really tough question when battling depression is "what makes you happy?"

I mean, it's not a very tough question is it? But what if you've been in the pit for so long that you don't remember what makes you happy?

Worse... what if some of the things that bring you relief don't actually make you happy, but just leave you feeling safe or comfortable? What if you think that sleep, or vegging out playing computer games makes you happy, but really, it's just what you do, and you've lost that memory of what it's like to be truly happy, because it hasn't happened in a long time? Or what if you can't quite imagine what it's like to be truly happy? It just seems like... "happy? What is this thing you call 'happy'?"

With my fits of depression, I've been running into problems like that, asking myself that question. I was relieved to realize there was one answer that I could always point to.

I have always, and I mean *always*, felt good when I realized I was in the groove, and figuring out some aspect of how a person thinks, feels, or acts.

An example follows, with an LJ cut for Firefly spoilers - yes, it's been out on DVD for a while, and it's a mild spoiler, but hey, maybe you don't know and don't like even minor ones.

( Read more... )

Anyway. That was kind of a tangent, but it's my journal, so I'm allowed to do tangents. The point is, I realized that the puzzle of humanity, of happiness, of figuring out how people work the way they do, that's always been something that makes me happy.

Other puzzles are fun, sometimes, but really, it's working in that realm of human thought and emotion that makes me happy.

Which means the one path I've set out for myself is the right one for me to be walking.

And along the way, I hope I can figure out how to help other folks answer the same question.