(no subject)

So, hanging out at Polycon has been informative.

First, I'm losing my fear of hanging out with a bunch of semi-strangers, and that's good. At the same time, I'm running into another issue that's a bit frustrating. I don't know how to deal with people as potential friends. I don't know how or when to try to get closer to someone, to pull them aside, ask for their e-mail address/phone number/etc..

It occurred to me that I kind-of consider friendship or romantic interest as being a kind of reward one gets for having passed some kind of test. This is ridiculous, of course; if everyone felt that way, friendships wouldn't develop because both parties would be waiting for the other to decide that they had passed the test. Nevertheless, this is what it feels like at a gut level.

This isn't a big deal, but it's something for me to think about. I'm not sure how this affects how I'm seen by others. If I'm not willing to approach anyone else, how approachable will I look?

(no subject)

So, hanging out at Polycon has been informative.

First, I'm losing my fear of hanging out with a bunch of semi-strangers, and that's good. At the same time, I'm running into another issue that's a bit frustrating. I don't know how to deal with people as potential friends. I don't know how or when to try to get closer to someone, to pull them aside, ask for their e-mail address/phone number/etc..

It occurred to me that I kind-of consider friendship or romantic interest as being a kind of reward one gets for having passed some kind of test. This is ridiculous, of course; if everyone felt that way, friendships wouldn't develop because both parties would be waiting for the other to decide that they had passed the test. Nevertheless, this is what it feels like at a gut level.

This isn't a big deal, but it's something for me to think about. I'm not sure how this affects how I'm seen by others. If I'm not willing to approach anyone else, how approachable will I look?